To my beautiful peers and fellow wage slaves,


With sincere heartbreak, I must conclude my time at Quantum Motion.


When I began, Quantum Motion was nothing more than an online bookseller operating out of the garage of Simon, John and James' (no relation to the New Testament) shared Washington condominium. A failed lawsuit with an up-and-coming online retailer saw a reluctant pivot to Silicon quantum computing, and a promise to deliver a septillion-qubit device by October 2025. Today's corporate superpower is barely recognisable, spanning both hemispheres and all four corners of this wide, flat Earth.


Alas, my own journey in Quantum Motion has come to an end - I cannot take back what I said about the lunch-meal vending machine, nor the company's aggressive foray into nuclear arms manufacture. My desk is cleared and the stain I was developing on the Caledonian Road office carpet has been wiped clean, though I was generously allowed to take home my electrons and charge-traps.


It has been a pleasure to extrude your layout files and mesh your devices. I have since taken up a position at NVIDIA in New York City, strategising on how best to waste our final energy budget pursuing impossible machines in the looming shadow of impending climate catastrophe. Do not hesitate to reach out should you need your devices classically simulated, or your ideologies baselessly, depravedly ridiculed. 


May your qubits be ever plentiful, and your Silicon impurities fleeting and weak-willed.

Your faithful servant,

Tybaby.


PS: Pen me at [redacted]@gmail.com, and mail only your most inappropriate corporate criticisms to [redacted]@nvidia.com.