Unprofessional ramblings.
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​Anyone unlucky enough to be around me through the last 6 years will know that a profound (erm) dissatisfaction with the Oxford University student experience is my worst-kept secret. My collection of frustrating anecdotes has hit critical mass and spilled over into a satirical student survival guide. It is bound to offend, so wear your thickest skin.

To view the guide, click Read More in the bottom right.
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This is an academic rant about a recent provocative paper unlikely to interest the typical audience of my unprofessional blog. It's uploaded here so it can be linked when inevitable future papers show as profound a negligence in their presentation. Shitpost-seekers, seek elsewhere!
To view, click Read More​ in the bottom right.
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I was an undeserving invited speaker at the Quantum Innovation 2022 symposium, presenting unpublished research on classically simulating noisy quantum variational algorithms. This was miraculously the first successfully recorded talk of my PhD, yet frustratingly, the first I gave at 7am (4pm in Tokyo) after staying up all night. Watching below for some delirious slurring.


(Here's a link if Meta has again blocked the embedding)

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I recently completed my PhD thesis, having littered it with subtle jokes and snarky remarks. So that they won't go forever unread, buried within a painfully long and uninteresting grave, I collate my favourite below:
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I recently read Borges’ Ficciones and was mesmerised by the prose, even after its translation from Spanish. Below I compile my favourite excerpts, grouped by why I like them.
To view, click Read More in the bottom right.
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I recently wrote some very ridiculous notes for a highschool maths class at John Monash Science School. They may prove an interesting read to young mathematicians, older programmers, or general fans of tomfoolery. Read below, or download here.

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